When did parenting become mainstream? I certainly couldn't pinpoint the pivot in the community where we decided that selling the idea of being a good parent became a good idea. I'd like to credit the Internet for this wave of parenting, but I know there were a ton of books on the subject in my father's time. The only difference today is that there is an accessible place for everyone to have the conversation, and more people are sharing their parenting experiences.
I am about to have my first child, thanks to my wife's loving efforts, and I don't think there has ever been a better time to be a father. Gone are the days of feeling lost in the sauce and being alone in a crowd of people with a million questions swirling around my head. Everyone now has a blog, podcast or YouTube channel dedicated to parenting advice, and if you like what they have to say, there's cool swag you can buy to motivate you in your new role.
Now, I'm not saying I know everything there is to know about parenting; I've not done this before. The closest I ever came was leading a group of camouflaged soldiers through the woods as they rehearsed which direction the pointed end of the rifle went. I feel like I'm not going into this completely blind.
Thanks to the power of social media, I was able to read the stories and conversations new parents had with each other for months and get a sense of what was coming. I've got ideas for how to set up the nursery, what kind of father-daughter activities I can look forward to (we have a girl!), and a whole bunch of tools my back pocket can turn to when the time comes. It comes time to deal with different situations that I might have handled poorly.
Like many good people in this world, my wife and I come from broken families. We look forward to “breaking the chain” as we have come to call it and building a stable foundation for our children that will ensure their bright future. My parents came from broken families too, and they certainly had the same thoughts in mind when I was born.
Can my wife and I do what our parents couldn't? I think so, and I think it's because of where and when we raise a family. We are in a good country, albeit with some pitfalls, where there are still many opportunities to give children a chance to reach for the stars. We've reached a point where we can have open conversations, like this one, discussing parenting, with the mission of normalizing the acknowledgment of the fears and anxieties we all have in doing so. Recognizing these concerns is a step in finding solutions, and having mature conversations about them with each other is a great way to know that we are not alone in dealing with these issues. Often times, we discover that these problems, these fears, are nothing to be afraid of at all, and we are all going through the same experiences.
For me, community sites like Facebook the father, or comedian and DIY expert Dude Dad, have been great resources for preparing for the biggest change in my life ahead. I've been able to witness first-hand the experiences of parents across the country as they manage a variety of different challenges, see them find humor in situations I'm still not sure is possible, and review their children's successes as they go through developmental milestones.
I was able to take what I saw of the road ahead and ask better questions of our doctor and obstetrician as we prepared for our due date. I've been able to be more creative with the way I look at supporting my wife through her pregnancy and how I set up the nursery for our daughter. Did you know that a quality tool box can serve as a quality changing table and also remain a tool box when your baby doesn't have diapers? Thank you, Internet!
All the gimmicks and flashy clothes with “Cool Parent” written all over them aside, I think pop culture has hit the big time for once. Parenting is cool. In an age where we're all becoming more connected through so many apps and devices, it seems only fitting that more people find common ground about the things we do every day.
Since raising children is the number one reason we keep our society moving forward, it makes sense for people to realize that we are all in this together. What is the old adage? “It takes a village to raise a child.”
I think parenting has always been great.
