opinion
As a millennial professional, for the past 15 years I have been inundated with articles, seminars, and advice on mastering “work-life balance.” Even when I was in the US Army as a senior leader, I would get lectures and be asked to push this concept as a way to make sure we don't burn ourselves and our people out.
At its basic principle, the idea of work-life balance is not new; It's not even a creation of my generation. Work-life balance has been around since the ancient Stoics.
Seneca once wrote:
“The mind should be given relaxation. It will rise better and clearer after a good rest. Just as force-rich fields should not be imposed, constant work on the anvil will break the power of the mind.
But the idea of perfect balance has always been a unicorn, something that can never be fully achieved. Unfortunately, the youngest professionals among us are cracking up with the reality of what work-life balance means.
Welcome to reality
TikTok is full of Gen Z professionals crying into their camera phones because of the overwhelming, unending pressure they feel in the real world. Having to get a job, pay their bills, manage their own lives, and do it all over again day in and day out is something most of them didn't even know was part of adult life.
Many of these young professionals are women, and I can't help but wonder whether they seem more inclined to pour out their overly dramatic emotions on camera because of our inherent biological tendency for expressive emotions or because of the usual unrealistic images of young people. The professional lives of adult females have overwhelmed them. As a professional woman who works from home, I'm constantly finding articles and photos on social media of women who look just like me and look great in their sleek, perfectly styled home offices, wearing chic comfy clothes, and looking completely at ease.
The reality of my professional life is very different from that image. I often dress professionally and juggle the demands of my children and my home life with online meetings and deadlines in an office that, while clean and organized, doesn't look like a spa waiting room.
It's also important to note that I didn't enter adulthood with a remote job. I spent two decades after I graduated high school working in the military, where I had to wake up early, literally go to work, and, more often than not, come home very late.
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This was not a lifestyle that I thought was strange. In fact, it seemed quite ordinary to me… because it was and still is. Being an adult with a job is supposed to take a long time.
Being an adult is tiring
The young woman in the TikTok video below struggles with the idea of a 40-hour work week. Says:
“Why should I work 40 hours a week just so I can have a place to live?”
This question alone is fascinating because, since the dawn of work, work has been required in some capacity for some time to provide shelter. Now, as she explains in her video, rent is ridiculously high in every city compared to when I was a young professional.
Understandably, buying a home after college isn't a priority for many Zoom users, and it wasn't for me, coupled with the fact that it's almost not possible for anyone at this point to buy a home regardless of their generation. However, her other arguments are just as ridiculous, if not more so.
She continues to complain:
“Just working makes me so exhausted that I don't have time either.”
I can identify with this feeling. I worked an average of 72 hours a week or 12 hours a day while in the military for twenty years, and I can't remember a day when I didn't come home from work exhausted.
Now I work 40 hours a week or 8 hours a day. My fatigue level is significantly lower than when I was in uniform.
However, I feel a sense of mental effort at the end of the day. That's because I was a jobAnd work requires effort.
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Welcome to the club
The young lady goes on to explain that she comes down at 5:30pm and that:
“I'm so tired, like nothing I need to do outside of work, and then I head into the weekend, and I'm too tired to do it after work.”
I'll be generous with my assumptions here that what you “need” to do outside of work are things like laundry, cleaning the house, and maybe going to night school to get a certificate or graduate degree. However, I bet she's referring more to things like exploring her inner child through tantric goat yoga and confronting her inner biases through her intense daily habit.
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She continues:
“I'll wait until Saturday, and then I'll end up with so many things to do on the weekend that I end up splitting it into two days. So I have to do things on Saturday and Sunday!”
Imagine if this woman gave birth! Saturday and Sunday are the ideal times to catch up on all the personal and family matters that you couldn't get done during the week.
This is nothing new to you, my dear; This is called puberty.
It wasn't made for this
This poor young soul says through tears:
“So I don't get a day off. I don't get a day to relax. I can't decompress.”
I can't imagine having a whole day to “relax.” I'm happy if I get an hour.
Then you claim:
“So it's really like working seven days a week constantly.”
no not like that. If you want to get a feel for what it's like to work continuously seven days a week, find your local military recruiter and enlist.
What you experience is a very typical work rhythm. But it's the next line that gives her credit for her self-awareness:
“I'm not made for this.”
The blame falls largely on her parents, teachers, professors, and the cultural lens she was exposed to via social media. Real life is hard, work is stressful, and balance is not what I was taught.
Work-life balance is exactly what you described. You spend 40 hours a week working to get the money and benefits needed to do life things like improve yourself professionally and physically and do the routine chores of life during all other hours of the week.
It's not about making those times equal or distributing them the way you want. Do what the rest of you have done and keep doing it… wake up early, learn how to prioritize and multi-task, and get a bad caffeine habit to give you an early evening boost.
Welcome to adulthood, my dear; It's hard because it's supposed to be. Now stop crying and get back to work.
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