Unfortunately, he passed away unexpectedly last September. He was suffering from an incurable disease. He was immunocompromised, and the double whammy of pneumonia and COVID-19 was too much. My stepmother said if I got a share of their house, I would be responsible for half the utilities, property taxes, and general maintenance.
Here's where it gets complicated: My parents didn't have a will. I know that I have some right to at least a portion of my father's personal and marital property. My uncle shared his interpretation of the law with my stepmother, who asked my thoughts. I asked her to hire a lawyer to figure it all out, because I only know what I can see online and I'm not an expert.
She contacted me yesterday to tell me that she had made a will and that I would get a quarter of her estate, while her three children would get the other three quarters. As she put it: “This is what your father would have wanted.” She then informed me that her lawyer was sending me a letter waiving my rights to my father's estate.
“We're not close”
I have never agreed to sign anything, and I don't even know the full value of my father's estate. I immediately moved on to a new topic, and I was not comfortable bringing up the topic without additional research to understand my rights. I don't like to make waves and I'm generally the type to give up just to keep the peace.
How do I make sure my stepmother is financially taken care of without completely relinquishing my rights to my father's estate? She lives on the other side of the country, and I honestly will never see her or her kids again. We're not close and this isn't “The Brady Bunch.” We were never a blended family. I told her to talk to a lawyer.
My stepmother is in her sixties. She may marry again and fall victim to scammers, or even fall under the influence of family members who want to take advantage of her. I'm not comfortable giving up my rights and indicating that everything will be fine when you die. This is not the first death in my family, and it will not be the last.
Death and money bring out the worst in people. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this safely?
stepson
“It is either untrue or intentionally promoting the lie that you will be responsible for half of your housing expenses if you claim a share of the home.”
Market watch illustration
Dear stepson,
The only way to handle this safely is to make sure you both play by the rules, i.e. abide by the intestacy laws in Texas.
Your stepmother has certainly proven herself unable to handle this gracefully. By insisting that you sign a letter relinquishing your rights to your father's property, she is trying to take advantage of your good nature. You are your father's only child, and she doesn't know what he would have wanted. Her trick provides a lesson for all of us in estate planning: sign a will to prevent these kinds of eleventh-hour scams.
Do not sign the letter from your stepmother's lawyer. If she intended to divide your father's estate fairly and equitably, she would do so now and not ask you to sign a waiver of your rights. As I said, wills can be changed – and if I were a betting man, I'd bet she either wouldn't write such a will, or she'd write one to show you it's leverage and change it right away. If this doesn't work, expect her to increase the emotional blackmail.
Your stepmother doesn't think it's her responsibility to take care of you financially. On the contrary, she seems to feel that it is her responsibility to strip you of your inheritance, and she can only do so with your cooperation. Likewise, it is not your responsibility to take care of your stepmother. She seems more than capable of doing it herself. Plus, she says, she has her own children.
Texas intestate law
I think your stepmother knows well the intestacy laws in Texas. Because your father died intestate and had a child from a previous marriage, his second wife will retain half of the community property for herself and one-third of your father's separate property. You will inherit half of your father's community property and two-thirds of his separate property.
Separate property is anything acquired before the marriage, plus gifts or inheritances acquired during the marriage. In Texas, there's a twist: According to Article XVI, Section 52 of the Texas Constitution, your stepmother has the right to live in the home she shared with her husband for the rest of her life, but ownership of the property will be divided according to intestate law upon her death.
“Intestacy laws only apply to assets that would normally have passed through a will,” according to the law firm Roman & Sumner, based in Sugar Land, Texas. It does not apply to life insurance proceeds, retirement fund accounts such as IRAs and 401(k), property owned in joint tenancy with a third party, property in a living trust or payable-on-death accounts. “This type of property passes to designated beneficiaries or surviving co-owners,” the company adds.
Speaking of potential impostors, it sounds like your stepmother is poised to fill that role. It is either untrue or intentionally promoting the lie that you will be responsible for half of the housing expenses if you claim a share of the house. If you continue to live in the home you shared with your father, you will be responsible for maintenance, utilities, insurance, and property taxes. As the “remaining man,” you are not responsible for these costs during her lifetime.
You can handle the matter safely by hiring an attorney and petitioning the court to appoint an administrator for your father's estate.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
The Moneyist regrets that he cannot respond to questions individually.
Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:
'I don't want my wife to lose everything': I was diagnosed with dementia – suddenly I couldn't spell or write legibly
“Things weren't easy”: My sister is a hoarder and a procrastinator. It delays probate of our parents' property. what can i do?
'I gave up the job I loved so passionately': My husband secretly set up a trust that included our house and his investments. What should I do?
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