“I was a dream girl/But the world intervened,” sings Allie X, the Canadian singer, songwriter and visual artist born Alexandra Hughes, in “Weird World,” the opening track from her exciting new album. Girl with a fresh face. She describes the record, her first since 2020 Cape Cod, as a document of “the violent struggle for power and control—creatively, professionally, mentally, and physically,” a struggle that led to her hospitalization in 2022 and thus her retreat from the public eye. Having held writing credits for BTS and Troye Sivan, collaborated with Mitski, and released four LPs under the moniker, Hughes' experience in the music industry is just one aspect of her identity that she's searching for. A girl without a face, which revitalizes their sound by drawing from genres such as early post-punk, synthpop, and new wave. Self-produced with the help of Justin Meldahl-Johnsen, the album finds Hughes blazing through grotesquely disturbing and danceable songs with fearless abandon, even when her sense of humor leans toward sarcastic self-awareness (“You Slept on Me”). Allie A girl without a faceShe's more interested in keeping the dream alive by continuing to build her own dream — raw, twisted, and cruel.
We caught up with Allie X to talk about some of the inspiration behind it A girl without a faceincluding Ian Curtis, Kate Bush, Coffee, Broken glassAnd more.
Ian Curtis
Joy Division is an obvious reference point for the album musically, but I'm curious to know if there's also thematic and personal significance to Ian Curtis' choice.
Yes, there are some aspects to it. First and foremost, Ian Curtis had epilepsy, which ultimately, indirectly, led to his suicide, because he was full of various medications, overmedicated, and lost his mental capacity. I mean, that's not a fact – that's just my interpretation of what happened. And then he hanged himself. I think the Ian Curtis story, is the idea that he was in this very vulnerable state and yet he was in these really difficult situations – he was on stage with these crazy audiences and he was having a seizure, and people thought that was part of the show, and he was collapsing on stage. And he just had to keep going, and no one around him at that time was in the mindset that they could support him in the way that he needed to — and that really breaks my heart, and I see a lot of my story in that. You don't hear a lot about artists who are in this situation, and this was somewhat similar to aspects of my story and battle in the music industry.
So there's that, and then there's the obvious answer, which is, yes, he was in Joy Division, who was instrumental in this shift from punk to post-punk and goth and new wave, and what eventually became synthpop, which is what my whole record was inspired by from. It was even Ian Curtis who introduced the other band members to Kraftwerk and synthesizers. Obviously, once he died, they formed New Order and all these influences were instrumental in the sound of New Order, which revolutionized music as well. I've seen both the Joy Division movies and read a little of the book about him by his wife, and I feel really connected to him. I love his stage presence too, the way he moves on stage; I also feel like I move awkwardly like that. He's definitely a hero of mine.
coffee
I'm curious if this refers to the verse in “John and Jonathan,” or if it's a more literal influence.
No, it's just that I literally discovered coffee in 2021. Like, I didn't drink coffee until 2021. I was like, “This is cool.” This removes the depression for a few hours. [laughs] I had a road where I was on a late schedule, so I was kind of waking up late, taking my time getting ready and making myself feel nice for the day, because I was spending a lot of time on my computer. I didn't want to feel like I was wearing pajamas. And I would make coffee—I usually make Bulletproof Coffee where I blend butter into it—and then I would sit down and drink it and watch YouTube videos about Joy Division or Gear or Vince Clark, that kind of thing. It would be a really fun way to start my day, I get so excited and then I go on working forever and go to bed really late.
Were you aware of that? Affect your creativityy certain way?
It affects me because I feel optimistic. I'm a person with big ideas and a lot of ambition, and I've always had that part of my personality, and coffee will help me move forward without doubting myself. But of course, it made me anxious sometimes, and I would sometimes go into shock in the afternoon. But it was all worth it just because of that feeling, like, “I can do this, let's go!” Because this was a very difficult process, so it was helpful to have something like a substance, I guess, that helped me get a boost every day. As someone who had never taken it before, I literally felt like I was doing cocaine or something. [laughs]
Christian F.
This was very on the fringe, as you were saying some of these inspirations might be. In fact, I didn't even watch the movie while making the album. I watched it the day David Bowie died, because my partner suggested we do it, and it gave me this real take on the 70s and 80s and where young people were; Dark and industrial feel in Berlin, Germany. It's as if it were on a mental wall, like a painting or something, to abstractly pull the mood out of it.
Their latest single, “Weird World,” certainly feels like an expression of that.
Sure, I definitely see that. Obviously it has German in it, but I almost see “Weird World” as a song that the band was singing on tour in Berlin, and it just happens to be my song.
Cloud slippers
Is this something similar to coffee?
Yes exactly. [laughs] It was a relief. Again, that little extra thing in my day that would help me feel more comfortable in an uncomfortable situation that often felt like an impossible journey. Just putting my feet on soft ground like that was very relaxing. It's almost similar to – my dog was there with me under the table a lot of the time, and I would sometimes take my feet out of my slippers and put them on her fur. I felt so relieved – relieved is the only word I can think of.
Kate Bush
Final song,'“real dreams”comes to mindBut I'm sure She's been an inspiration on a broader scale, too.
Yes. She was definitely one of the artists I would read about and watch while drinking my coffee. I was really inspired by her methods and her story – her refusal to tour, her insistence on producing her own work, her choice of her brothers as her team and starting a management company – all of these things were parallel to what I was doing. Her exploration of new technology, and then her voice, her weirdness and sheer weirdness, which I also relate to. We both have very loud, bright voices, and on this album I let the weird, weird side of my voice ring loud and clear, which I've never done before. It was definitely giving me insight into that as well.
On the production side of things, with self-production A girl without a faceWas this an aspect of her story that you explored in ways that perhaps it hadn't in the past?
I've always been a fan of Kate Bush, but I never delved into the production side — it was the business side that I really admired, just being a woman at that time and all the business moves she made. It's an amazing story. She forgets which label signed her as a teenager, but they allowed her to develop and study mime for about three years before she released anything. That time has passed, you know, no one would do that these days. But the idea that there was this girl who was so weird and unique, and she was being celebrated — and if she wasn't being celebrated, she was just determined to do it her own way. And I worked commercially. It's one of those things, like Björk, where you look at the level of success and how widely known they are, and then you listen to the music and go, 'Oh my God! What an incredible occasion for this strange, unique artist to have such a global impact.'
When you're working on these fast synthpop songs, He was There's a part of your mind, when you look at someone like Kate Bush who was able to balance her artistic sensibilities, gone, “How can I'm making this a little weirder?
Not real. I think I'm eccentric, and when I was in shared writing rooms and when I tried to write something commercially oriented, I really tried to suppress it and control it. Despite or because of my working alone in this process, my eccentricities emerged, and I allowed them to happen. But I looked at Kate Bush and said, “If she does this her way and has success, then I feel braver about it to go that route if that makes sense.”
1980 movie Broken glass
To be honest, I didn't know this movie until the album was finished, so it's almost unfair of me to use it as something to cite. It was Monnie Hayworth who asked me to watch it, she's the photographer who shot all the “Off With Her Tits” videos for me. She's British, and she was telling me how much this particular album reminded her of that movie. So I watched it, and I was like, “Oh my God, she's so right.” I just relate so much to this character. Her journey in the music industry is very familiar, even though it's set in a completely different decade, and her stubbornness and the way she presents herself – I saw a lot of myself in her. And it really reminded me of that album. Even though this didn't have an impact when I was writing the album, it almost became one after another, if that's possible.
I did Highlight parts of the album that you weren't completely aware of before?
Yes, and that's not the only thing that had this effect. Sometimes I'll read a well-written review of a record, or talk to a journalist like you and they'll ask a certain question, and it gives me a different perspective on what you've done. Because when I do it – nothing is usually intentional. There are some aspects that are there, but most of it just kind of comes out, and you can't really analyze it. But now that I analyze it and talk about it a lot in interviews and read people's reactions, I see things in a different way, and it's quite satisfying to have that quick impression of something being created. I guess I wouldn't feel the same if I didn't like people's explanations, but I've really liked them so far. [laughs]
what about Broken glass In particular it helped you see A girl without a face In a different light?
I've always seen doing this record as a kind of rebellion, and just seeing my story in it, and equating her insistence on certain things to my own — it's hard to explain beyond that.
I think this happens with things we get too attached to.
It just tingles in a certain place on my body. [laughs] It gives me a connection and a reaction that I don't even have… I think art does that; Even people who are not artists have these feelings. That's what makes it so meaningful.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
Allie x A girl without a face Available now via Twin Music.
