My cousin Anne was 98 when she died in New York in April 2020. She had no children and was very special to me. I visited her regularly and talked to her most days. She appointed me as executor of her will. I had to inherit her property.
I have a document that says the court found that Anne needed someone to monitor the $300,000 in her bank accounts. Sam, Anne's boyfriend, told the court he would. I was told at the bank that Sam may have limited access to Anne's money to pay bills, etc.
I often reviewed her checkbook and bills to make sure there were no excessive charges or unusual amounts withdrawn. Sam was nice to her, and she loved the attention he gave her. Anne needed help: she went to school until the seventh grade and made a living by sewing.
Empty bank accounts
She let Sam stay at Anne's house, where the coronavirus was at its peak, so he could keep paying the bills, etc. Sam was very nice and sometimes even helped me navigate the subway. I did not receive the appointment of a fiduciary for Anne's estate until August 2022, and I did not receive the official “letters of will” until August 1, 2023.
That's when she discovered that her savings and current accounts had been closed. Apparently Sam's two nephews got the money and her $300,000 annual pension. I was never told that Sam was added as a co-owner. I understood that Sam had the ability to sign checks.
I would think Sam would have a fiduciary responsibility to Anne. I asked the bank to send me documents related to the accounts, but they refused. The lawyer handling the will has applied to the court to obtain these documents.
Escape from the previous trick
The will is not finished yet. I'm in the process of compiling all the expenses I've had in the past to try to manage this. I had to be “enslaved” to ensure that I fulfilled my duties under the law for three years, hiring a lawyer, cleaning up the property, etc. Also, there were many repairs needed to even get it on the market.
Anne was also subjected to financial fraud by a woman named Mary over a period of 10 years. It took nearly four years in civil court to prove the fraud and remove this fraudster from ownership of Anne's property. Mary was also ordered to pay $200,000, which was never paid.
Mary put the money in her son's name. Given Anne's advanced age, I told her I would not pursue Mary for money. Maryam lived with her son. Her husband had property in Pennsylvania but was not a party to what the fraudster did. She felt she would have to answer to a higher court.
By the way, it was Mary the Fraudster who introduced Sam to Anne.
A devoted and loyal cousin
“The role Sam played in your cousin's life also seems ambiguous at best.”
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Related: My elderly father is losing his cognitive abilities. I'm afraid my four brothers will take over his $300,000 bank account and move into his house when he dies
Dear sincerely,
Sam, according to your account, was a friend of your cousin, and Mary was a con man. But they have more than one thing in common.
Money disappeared under their watch, and they both became friends with your elderly cousin in her final years, took care of her finances, became somewhat indispensable, grew close to her, and, what's more, knew each other. When you got rid of one of these bad actors, another showed up with offers of advice, friendship, and even help on the New York subway.
You prefer – perhaps naively – to blame the loss of $200,000 under Sam's watch on his two nephews, whom you say must have had access to your cousin's account. There's a reason he's in the right place at the right time, and there's a reason he volunteered to supervise your cousin's accounts. These two steps were a warning, as were the circumstances under which he had entered Anne's life in the first place.
The role Sam played in your cousin's life seems ambiguous at best, both in terms of his official position and his intentions. A person with a financial power of attorney has a fiduciary duty, which states that he or she must not act in his or her own best interests and must maintain legal responsibility to act in a trustworthy manner. But it's not clear whether Sam has power of attorney or is just a “friend.”
It expires by the statute of limitations
Each state has a different statute of limitations when it comes to certain types of fraud and elder abuse. In New York, a plaintiff has six years to bring a case, but an attorney will be in a better position to advise you on this. The burden of proof is on you, and you will need to provide paper evidence to build your case. Since your cousin and the money are now gone, this will be an uphill battle.
Executing someone's will and/or obtaining a power of attorney are big jobs, perhaps too much for one person. But the latter carries great powers to make financial and medical decisions. “The best choice is someone you trust. Integrity, not financial acumen, is often the most important trait of a potential agent, according to the American Bar Association.”
Typically, if you suspect someone is abusing an elder — emotionally, physically, psychologically or financially — you should report it to Adult Protective Services. You can also call 911 or report it to local law enforcement or your district attorney's office. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has more information on how to report senior financial abuse.
It's a big problem. The National Center on Elder Abuse, a government agency of the U.S. Administration on Aging, reports that research on elder abuse lags as much as two decades behind research in the areas of child abuse and domestic violence. It says that one in 10 people over the age of 60 in the United States experienced some form of abuse in the previous year.
Signs of elder abuse
Financial signs of elder abuse include fraudulent signatures on documents, overdue bills, and “unusual or sudden changes in spending patterns, wills or other financial documents,” according to the nonprofit National Council on Aging. Caregivers, friends and family members are among the most common culprits. Such crimes cost seniors up to $28 billion annually, although official estimates may not truly reflect the true cost.
“Isolation is a red flag and many studies on elder abuse say lack of a good support system and physical and psychological isolation are hallmarks of the problem,” according to the National Association of Adult Protective Services. But it can also happen in plain sight. The more people keep an eye on an elderly relative and their financial accounts, the better.
Your cousin died thinking she was being taken care of, and she kept you in her life. I hope that this fact, along with the memories you have of her, especially in those final months, will be a small comfort to you so many years after her death. Your story may also help other people who have elderly relatives surrounded by new or old friends suddenly offering to help them, and help them recognize the signs of financial elder abuse.
Sometimes, such unsavory characters arrive unexpectedly, wrapped in a shroud of mystery, like Mary. Other times, like Sam, they arrive smiling.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
The Moneyist regrets that he cannot respond to questions individually.
Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:
My husband and I divorced and bought separate homes. Now we are back together and considering merging our assets. Is this wise?
My estate is worth millions of dollars. How do I prevent my daughters' husbands from getting their hands on him?
“It was a mistake”: My father set up a revocable trust and left everything to my stepmother. It completely cuts me off. what can i do?
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